Family, changes

Today I went on the search for a white button up dress shirt and a simple black tie for my nine month old. In a place as big as Lincoln you would think that would not be hard to find. WRONG. Only one store had the dress shirt that was under size 2T. Shirt, check. There were a few places for ties. Luckily Sears had plain black ones. I almost got one too big for him, but at the last minuet I found one the perfect size. Sheesh, who knew this was a hard size to find? I knew boys clothing was limited, but not in dress clothes. Come on people. But all in all I found a shirt and tie for our upcoming family pictures.

Aaron went out this morning and, upon returning, kind of dropped a bomb on me. He said he was seriously thinking about wanting us to move back to cozad Nebraska. Ugh. On one hand If he could get his old job back at Baldwin filters then I could be a stay at home mom. WHOOP. The problem is, I don't know if I could handle living in such a small place. It would be nice being around some of his family. I know he still resents moving to Lincoln for me. On one side I am for it and on another I really am not. I do not like the idea of being so far away from my family. Mostly from my mother. My sister is already planning to move further away. I guess that is part of life. I just fear being too far away from her. On the other hand I would be somewhat closer to my father, step mom, step sister, brother, and sister in law. That would be a plus. I just think it is a lot to think about. Who knows maybe it would grow on me. I just don't like the idea of uprooting so soon. I mean what if i have another child before we move? We won't have near enough money to put a down payment on a house in a few years. There is so much to think about. My head is spinning to much right now. I think I will just have to stew it over for a while. Huge transitions like this are a tough call. I guess prayer is what I need now. One day it will all make sense.

love.

Insite and a product giveaway!

So last night my son only woke up ONCE!! Yippe! So this allowed me time to get up early make my own coffee. I actually did my hair and put make-up on got ready for work. I sat and watched a little Pride and Prejudice, my all time favorite movie. It was a very refreshing morning. Then this morning I happend to look at a blog I follow. This blog was about being a happy mama. How true for me this morning. She is actually giving away a all natural soap. Here is a link to her page: Click Here to Win Happy Mama Body Wash It looks like a great product! I'm entering too! Check out this gals blog too.. she has a some great stuff on there, and some great links! Hope your days are grand!

Love.

Under a Cloud

Today I feel like I'm just under a cloud. I woke up for the second day with a hurting throat. I really hope it doesn't get worse. I tried going to bed at a decent hour last night. I don't think it helped. Today I close at work, yesterday was so slow that I fear today will not be much better. January is usually slow for hairstylist. I knew that. I know this. Why is it a surprise. It just stinks because that means things are a little tighter. I'm usually pretty good about pinching pennies, buuut I would like to feel a little more relaxed. My lovely husband and I have finally been able to start saving a bit. This is such a nice feeling. I never thought we would be able to put this much away. Thankfully work just called YIPPEE I do not have to go into work until later this afternoon. I'm really happy about this! One, this means my tired husband can get some more sleep. Two, I can finish some things around the house and get some time to myself. I think that is a pretty good deal.

Despite my being under the weather, I am looking forward to the next couple weeks. My salon mates and I are going out to dinner for our "Christmas party" to the Olive Garden. YUMM-O. I have not been there in forever. I am really excited because I'm going by myself with the girls. I am dropping my son off at my sisters. My husband is going to work and I will have a fun night. I think as parents we need a break to stay sane and to be the best parents that we can be. It is the same concept as when the flight attendants on a plane tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first then put it on your child. This is same in life. If you do not take care of yourself first how do you expect to take care of your children in the best possible way. A happy wife/mother means a happy life/house. I know that does not completely rhyme but it does make sense. This being said my husband and I have not had a real 'date' in oh about nine and a half months! I think we should schedule something. Actually I am already on that. This year for v-day I really just want some time with my lovey. We are going to get dressed up and go out to this wine and bistro here in town. I hear it is nice. I think I will save up some money and surprise my lovey. I hope he likes it. I always worry about trying to surprise him because it usually backfires. This time I will succeed. I hope. Well that is all for now, time to find something for lunch.

Love.

Making it work

This morning you find me with laundry in the washer and dryer, a soup simmering for a few hours, an attempt at a grocery list to end better than last pay period;and, a nice little cup of hot coco. I woke up this morning checked the weather and wished I hadn't. The wind chill is not good. There is a storm a coming the night I close. I am really not excited about going in today. It could be the fact I've been on vacation for a week, the fact my son is sick, or life. It is hard to call in sick or anything when you work in a salon atmosphere. There are only so many other people that can cover. I do have a color on the books and that is my only motivation for going in tonight. I guess all I can do it pray for a slower night so I can get out on time!

Jaden is doing much better today. He slept pretty well last night. The hubby came home and checked in on him to find he was sitting up in his crib just playing. I don't know if he had been crying prier to that, to tell you the truth I was out of it. He didn't seem to be effected by it. The morning went on he was pretty fussy, our incoming teeth are still a bother. This morning he fell off the couch backwards.. poor guy. Not hurt just scared him a bit. I put him down for a nap. I shouldn't have put the hippo in there with him. Now it will take him forever to sleep. Oh well, gives this mama time to get some things done. I don't mind that a bit. I cannot wait till he is older and I can function a little more. I love their young stage, but I'm looking forward to the older stages. (I may regret wishing that)

Well, off to finish my coco, check on the soup, and finish watching my TV show while getting ready for the day. I hope you all have a great one. Lets hope I do not get stuck in the snow.

Love.

Ignite the light, let it shine

I thought I would be more productive today. I had hopes when I went to bed last night. After waking up a few times last night with the baby, I realized productivity was not part of my vocabulary today. I figured that what ever was completed today would be a victory. Today I did go through my rather large collection of miscellaneous jars to repurpose them. I used quite a few of them, this made me quite happy. Today I modified my blog. My question is, why is this so fascinating and WHY do I tend to this blog for hours. Could it be that I feel this blog is a release from my day? An outlet of sorts?

Baby Bear had a better day today. I think the large amount of sleep yesterday helped our case. The snotty nose is less. The coughing is a little more, but I blame the draining nose. He still is grumpy therefore blessing the world with a temper. Oh Joy. I try to be the good mother who doesn't get upset by this temper and let it wreck my day. Sometimes it truely is tough. You forgive your child because they are at an age where they have no understanding. Their communication skills are lacking. They just plain do not understand. It is frustrating. I really do hate being the "good guy". I do it day in and day out because I love my son and my husband and that is the right thing to do. I wish it was my day to throw a little fit. Never happen. I could settle on a sleep in, massage recieving, hair and nails done day topped off with a tall white mocha with my name on it kind of day. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Something has been weighing on my mind today. I am the type of person who can usually give good solid advice about a lot of situations. Lately I find that this is not the case. I feel bad for my friends whom are going through a tough life change. They are traveling down a path that I hope to never tread. I know they are strong. What are you suppose to say. The only thing I can think of is, "sorry I understand this must be really difficult, I am here for you if you need me." I mean I almost hate, and that is a stronger word, to ask how they are for fear of a break down. All I can do is pray that the answers will come. I am not the type to be lost for words. I think this is one of those times I will just attempt to be there. I cannot interfere here. It is not my place to be involved in such a personal matter. I trust in the Lord that he knows the plans and the reasoning is just. I pray that the outcome is brighter than the gloomy situation.

A couple last requests. Pray for my family and friends in tough and nervous situations. Pray my baby bear gets better soon. I miss my cheerful son!

Love.

In my down time...

A couple days ago I promised pictures of Jaden's finished room. Here they are. I still have a little more to do, but for now this is what will do. He is really excited about his OWN room. He loves going in and looking at his big tree and little reading/play corner.

Today was my first day back to work from vacation. I had a hard time leaving my house, much less waking up this morning. Jaden came down with a cold on top of teething horribly. Poor little boy. I can't imagine how tough that is for my baby bear. He hurts and doesn't understand why. He is in pain and cannot tell me where it hurts or to help him. I know it helps offering my loving arms to wrap around him when he is in pain. I'm sure the med's help too. I really try to remedy the sickness at home with natural approaches rather then medications for everything. I think it will be better for him in the long run. He had a slight fever, but that is done. Finally. He still has a runny nose. Thank goodnes he slept from eight this morning till about 1:30 this afternoon and went down again around 3. This gave me some much needed down time.

I managed to bake some cookies today, indulging in the dough a bit.. hehe. I couldn't help myself. I have been really good about cooking meals at home lately and decided today was my day off from that. I picked up some food for my husband on my way home from work. Funny thing. I arrived at work to find I was not scheduled, but one of my coworkers had to take her son and daughter to the doctor for possible strep throat this morning. Sooo in the long run it was good I went in. I will, however, not be informing my husband of this. I'm sure he would have thrown some sort of fit. Oh well, done and over with.

I believe it is about time to switch out some laundry and start some dinner prep for tonight. I hope this finds you all well. God Bless.

Love.

Week of Vacation

This past week I have been on vacation. I realized I had finally earned my first ever week of paid vacation in my entire working life. So, why not take it. I thought this would be a good time for me to work on redoing my son's room. The weekend went great with a chance of a snow storm. Guess what? The storm came. It conquered. Thus, no work for me on monday and my vacation started early! What luck! I used this free time to get the supplies needed and off I went. To make a long story short I finished his room in about a day and a half. Mind you it is not a very big room. I coat of Kilz. I coat with touch-up's of green and I was in business. I painted a fun tree in the corner. I will post pictures in my next entry.
The reason his room was done so fast was because my in-laws were suppose to come and be with us for the weekend. They were headed our way thursday and were going to be here till sunday. Plans ended up changing so they stopped by thursday evening. They brought over a couple gifts for Jaden.

This first gift was from our Grandpa and Grandma Garretson. It was a winnie the pooh music table. It has a ton of numbers and letters and sounds. It is pretty fun. This morning Baby bear could hardly eat fast enough once he realized his new toy was waiting for him.

This toy was from our uncle Mike. It is a ride on race car. Jaden likes to honk the horn. He realized that it rolls, but is still a little too short to sit on it and do it himself. He will catch on soon.

After the evening of opening a few gifts, the next afternoon we went to lunch at Famous Dave's. Now I love a good bbq place, and it looks like Baby bear is a fan too! BBQ sauce and corn bread, YES PLEASE! I was happy to capture a good picture of Jaden with his grandparents. It's not very often this side of the family gets good family pictures. Someones camera either doesn't work, we forget, or someone left early. Not this time! It was a good afternoon, despite the on comming cold of Jaden. Poor boy. I don't think it will be very bad. He just needs plenty of fluids, sleep, and some mama bear loving and he will be just fine!

A couple last notes. The past month or so I've been working with jaden on baby sign language. This morning I was feeding him and he asked for more milk! I was extremely excited about this! I hope this is a new trend with him that will catch on! My next entry I will post some room pictures. Until then. God Bless.

Love.

9 months of accomplishment

There were times I thought I'd never get to the point where I am now. There were times I did not thing it was possible to achieve my goals. I know people to take everything one day at a time. I say it all the time. I know that my once jumbo muffin tops are now shrinking slowly into more of a regular muffin look almost mini muffin compared to a long time ago. The nice full trademark cheeks are now shrinking to nice defined cheek bones. Those curves I've always had are becoming beautiful curves not lumps. I know, I may sound kind of harsh. I'm usually not this harsh about myself. Yes I know I haven't always loved everything about myself, but I've ALWAYS been confident about what I did have.

Nine months ago I achieved my second Life long dream, To be a mother. I could not have asked for any better gift from God then to bring in a lovely child of God. he is beautiful in every way and really reminds me to stop, slow down, and enjoy the simple things in life. My third dream was to look the way I've always felt. Not just for health but for myself. I've been slowly working towards my goal. There has been a weight hurdle I have never been able to jump under as long as I remember. about five months ago I really got serious about this weight loss thing. I thought I guess now is a good time as any. Nursing does really help me out. I was doing really well. Being pregnant I reached a weight number I NEVER wanted to get to. I never wanted to be near that number ever in my life. I accepted it. It's done. It's over. Never again.

I planned on doing weight watchers by myself with motivation from my sister and good friend. They have helped me keep going. I have made small changes in my diet and that has really improved things. Christmas time was a happy yet frustrating time for me. I was excited to celebrate my baby bear's very first christmas. Our first christmas as parents, as a Family. It was also our first christmas in our very own home. It was a quiet and peacefull first Christmas. Much joy to be had. The problem was ALL the junk food brought into the house. I really was frustrated because my will power was at a low point and I just love my mom's puppy chow. After chrismas I thought I did pretty well for how much junk and food I had been eating. I stepped on that scale. Christmas had put me 10 lbs back. I thought ok, it could be worse. I gave myself permission to have that little food joy. I got back on track with everything. Then recently I tried the scale once again. I told myself I would be ok if I hadn't lost anything, BUT I had hoped for maybe at least 5 lbs gone. I had been working hard to lose some. Wow. Was I EVER wrong. I not only lost the ten pounds I love MORE!!!!!!! I had officially hurdled my last weight hurdle.

I am proud to say I am now at my lowest weight ever. You know I use to have a hard time saying where I was. I will never fully tell how much I weighed at my highest during pregnancy, but I will say it now and be proud. I have never been under 200lbs. I remember I would always hover right around or above, never under. Well I'm excited to say I busted through it I'm now over 10lbs UNDER. I am so happy. Now I can work to truly feel like the person I've always envisioned in my head.

A few friends have asked where I want to go from here. My answer is I don't know. I will set a goal of another 40 lbs. I will see how I feel and look then. I by no means ever want to be twig like, nor does my husband want me to be. I really want to be a curvy woman. I love the full look of a pin up woman. I've told myself once I get to my goal a bouidior pin up photo session is in order for me to show it off for my husband and myself.

Pounds lost to date: 90 lbs
Pounds left to go : 40 lbs

I realize the only person who can make me work for this is myself. I do this not because society tells me I need to look a certain way. I do this because I want to look like the woman I've always drempt I was. I will not be ashamed for that. I will give an update at various points.

love.